Last night I inadvertently watched a bit of America’s Top Modelon TV (on the CW network, which, I think, used to be either UPN or Warner TV or something–I’m trying to figure out what it has to do with country & western music). Young women were being interviewed by a celebrity panel about themed photo sessions for which they had posed.
One model was challenged about her lack of expression or involvement or the emotion in her face or something, and she accepted the validity of the challenge by responding, “I know, right?”
This is a locution I have only noticed in the past two years. I first heard it spoken by a really intelligent guy in my German 3 class last year. I understood what it meant, semantically, but the phrase deserves a bit of unpacking. When the phrase “I know” is used in English (that is, in just about all dialects of English worldwide), it signifies assent and acceptance of the point of view of a conversational partner. It’s a fairly confident assertion of acknowledgement, of agreement.
On the other hand, the questioning “right?” stuck onto the end of a sentence is a request of affirmation of an assertion and a simultaneous invitation to disagreement. Right? Don’t you think so? Do you agree with me?
So when a young speaker (and I’ve only heard this phrase used by speakers under the age of 25) combines the two, it seems to be a simultaneous assertion of confidence and an instant pulling back of that confidence so as not to seem too pushy. It seems to ask for a continuation of the conversation. If the interlocutors continue the conversation, it may branch into areas of disagreement, but so far they are of the same mind.
I tried to find a discussion of this on Language Log without success; likewise with Language Hat. But The Mot Juste contained a rather frustrated post deploring the spread of this phrase a couple years ago. EQ of The Mot Juste promises to answer it with a defiant, “no, you’re wrong. You obviously don’tknow, so don’t waste my time trying to convince me you do.”
But I don’t think that would actually happen in conversation, because I don’t think the phrase would be uttered if there weren’t already some basic agreement present in the conversation.
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I’ve not heard this - but given the situation you describe I wonder if right isn’t a shortening of “All right”, which adds more of a feeling of frustration. Like I already know this, all right?
I don’t think so. I know the vocal tag to which you refer. I sometimes hear it as “Okay?” or maybe “Okay!?” That tag does have the feeling of frustration.
This one, I think, is much more casual. It really invites assent and suggests continuing the conversation. I couldn’t really tag it on to what I’m saying (typing) right now to you. You’d have to say something with which I agree, and then I’d just say, “Yeah, I know, right?”
Around me people usually use that phrase to shut you up if they think you’re talking too much or they wanna change the topic. Kinda like agree and move on.
I’ve found it’s the perfect phrase when someone says something absurd but true. It’s an indication that you agree and also find this fact interesting. I say it with a sort of “isn’t that funny” scrunch of the nose, and a half-laugh which makes the other person feel like they have a valid comment! I agree with your evaluation, it’s a funny phrase but it sounds perfectly natural in conversation, somehow.
eg. “i like how you would rather walk to the other side of the building to access the elevator than walk up the stairs right next to the entrance” — “i know, right?”
“I know, right.” This is something I hear said in my office on a daily basis… it means… “I’m glad you recognize it, I agree with you… and you are smart to agree with me”… Just imagine a popular girl saying this to an unknown in highschool… and it’s said with a bit of attitude… I know (pause), right (question but w/ complete confidence)! I hope you all learned something today!
No, it’s not a “perfect phrase” in any setting, unless you want to expose the underdeveloped mindset of a teenage girl. What’s disturbing about these last two posts is I think both are in their twenties.
Larz: “What’s disturbing about these last two posts is I think both are in their twenties.”
Yeah, I know, right? Gotta be in their twenties.
I don’t understand, exactly, how you can draw that conclusion. They might be in their mid-teens. They might be over thirty.
In any event, whether you love the phrase or not, I think Amanda has hit the nail on the head when she says it’s useful in response to a statement that’s “absurd but true.”
In certain groups of speakers and in certain conversational contexts it really is a perfect response. Not among all speakers and in all contexts, to be sure.
In my original post I was very careful not to deprecate or judge the use of this phrase. I find it curious, but hardly disturbing.
I’m grateful to Amanda, in particular, for posting such a thoughtful analysis of the phrase. It’s been in widespread use for some time, so the genii is out of the bottle. Now I want to understand exactly how it is used and what it means.
Ugh, Dave. Careful not to judge the use of the phrase? Do you think that all words and expressions are of equal value? The phrase reeks of valley girl slang. It’s vapid and immature.
Here’s the primary translation of “I know, right?”:
“I want to agree with what you’re saying, but I’m not confident enough to merely state this, because I don’t want to come across as arrogant or as trying to dominate your comment. So, I will include a token act of humility along with my acknowledgment by deferring back to you, the original speaker, for the last word.”
I completely agree with Larz, only it seems to go even further in my office, particularly among women in their thirties! They seem to use it in every situation, almost as a badge of…culture, or something. Or conformity, more like it.
Just for the record, I hear guys use this curious pop-up phrase all the time. The America’s Nxt Top M- episode is my first memory of hearing it; I just heard it on How I Met Your Mother, spoken by a male character. As even a few days pass, it’s becomes more common; it’s like a cold in an office or daycare - everyone’s tainted by it eventually.
I dug around - it was supposedly said by Lyndsay Lohan in Mean Girls.
I’m 14 and my friends just told me that I say this. i didn’t really even notice. My friend said it was ‘cool how I said that’ which was weird because I hadn’t realised there was anything different about putting right on the end. It was actually in Mean Girls the film but I’m sure they got it from somewhere else.
To Larz and Scott, I would just say that I think most groups or sub-groups of speakers have little idiomatic tics that signify “inside language.” Hearing these phrases can be very annoying to outsiders who don’t use them in their own speech, but those outsiders undoubtedly have similar tics.
Two that jump into my mind right off the bat (there’s an idiom that might annoy people who don’t use it) are these:
“At the end of the day…”
“In the final analysis…”
I believe the former is a metaphor about which most speakers don’t reflect very much. (I am at the end of my school day as I type this. This is the moment when the phrase resonates with me.)
The latter phrase seems to me to be an overstatement, since it’s usually uttered in the absence of any great in-depth analysis–certainly not after the ultimate analysis of an argument.
“I know, right?” This might be annoying, but it’s impossible for me to call it “wrong.”
Heh, well, I guess I can’t argue with that. Oh, now I’m doing it. I mean, I really could argue if I tried…I give up.
In my office I’m starting to hear the girls say “Yeah, right?” as often as “I know, right?”
Yeah, see? (Or I could even say, “I know, right?”)
It’s very hard to get away from these things–even though they drive us up a wall sometimes!