Last night I inadvertently watched a bit of America’s Top Modelon TV (on the CW network, which, I think, used to be either UPN or Warner TV or something–I’m trying to figure out what it has to do with country & western music). Young women were being interviewed by a celebrity panel about themed photo sessions for which they had posed.
One model was challenged about her lack of expression or involvement or the emotion in her face or something, and she accepted the validity of the challenge by responding, “I know, right?”
This is a locution I have only noticed in the past two years. I first heard it spoken by a really intelligent guy in my German 3 class last year. I understood what it meant, semantically, but the phrase deserves a bit of unpacking. When the phrase “I know” is used in English (that is, in just about all dialects of English worldwide), it signifies assent and acceptance of the point of view of a conversational partner. It’s a fairly confident assertion of acknowledgement, of agreement.
On the other hand, the questioning “right?” stuck onto the end of a sentence is a request of affirmation of an assertion and a simultaneous invitation to disagreement. Right? Don’t you think so? Do you agree with me?
So when a young speaker (and I’ve only heard this phrase used by speakers under the age of 25) combines the two, it seems to be a simultaneous assertion of confidence and an instant pulling back of that confidence so as not to seem too pushy. It seems to ask for a continuation of the conversation. If the interlocutors continue the conversation, it may branch into areas of disagreement, but so far they are of the same mind.
I tried to find a discussion of this on Language Log without success; likewise with Language Hat. But The Mot Juste contained a rather frustrated post deploring the spread of this phrase a couple years ago. EQ of The Mot Juste promises to answer it with a defiant, “no, you’re wrong. You obviously don’tknow, so don’t waste my time trying to convince me you do.”
But I don’t think that would actually happen in conversation, because I don’t think the phrase would be uttered if there weren’t already some basic agreement present in the conversation.
I’ve not heard this – but given the situation you describe I wonder if right isn’t a shortening of “All right”, which adds more of a feeling of frustration. Like I already know this, all right?
I don’t think so. I know the vocal tag to which you refer. I sometimes hear it as “Okay?” or maybe “Okay!?” That tag does have the feeling of frustration.
This one, I think, is much more casual. It really invites assent and suggests continuing the conversation. I couldn’t really tag it on to what I’m saying (typing) right now to you. You’d have to say something with which I agree, and then I’d just say, “Yeah, I know, right?”
Around me people usually use that phrase to shut you up if they think you’re talking too much or they wanna change the topic. Kinda like agree and move on.
I’ve found it’s the perfect phrase when someone says something absurd but true. It’s an indication that you agree and also find this fact interesting. I say it with a sort of “isn’t that funny” scrunch of the nose, and a half-laugh which makes the other person feel like they have a valid comment! I agree with your evaluation, it’s a funny phrase but it sounds perfectly natural in conversation, somehow.
eg. “i like how you would rather walk to the other side of the building to access the elevator than walk up the stairs right next to the entrance” — “i know, right?”
“I know, right.” This is something I hear said in my office on a daily basis… it means… “I’m glad you recognize it, I agree with you… and you are smart to agree with me”… Just imagine a popular girl saying this to an unknown in highschool… and it’s said with a bit of attitude… I know (pause), right (question but w/ complete confidence)! I hope you all learned something today!
No, it’s not a “perfect phrase” in any setting, unless you want to expose the underdeveloped mindset of a teenage girl. What’s disturbing about these last two posts is I think both are in their twenties.
Larz: “What’s disturbing about these last two posts is I think both are in their twenties.”
Yeah, I know, right? Gotta be in their twenties.
I don’t understand, exactly, how you can draw that conclusion. They might be in their mid-teens. They might be over thirty.
In any event, whether you love the phrase or not, I think Amanda has hit the nail on the head when she says it’s useful in response to a statement that’s “absurd but true.”
In certain groups of speakers and in certain conversational contexts it really is a perfect response. Not among all speakers and in all contexts, to be sure.
In my original post I was very careful not to deprecate or judge the use of this phrase. I find it curious, but hardly disturbing.
I’m grateful to Amanda, in particular, for posting such a thoughtful analysis of the phrase. It’s been in widespread use for some time, so the genii is out of the bottle. Now I want to understand exactly how it is used and what it means.
Ugh, Dave. Careful not to judge the use of the phrase? Do you think that all words and expressions are of equal value? The phrase reeks of valley girl slang. It’s vapid and immature.
Here’s the primary translation of “I know, right?”:
“I want to agree with what you’re saying, but I’m not confident enough to merely state this, because I don’t want to come across as arrogant or as trying to dominate your comment. So, I will include a token act of humility along with my acknowledgment by deferring back to you, the original speaker, for the last word.”
I completely agree with Larz, only it seems to go even further in my office, particularly among women in their thirties! They seem to use it in every situation, almost as a badge of…culture, or something. Or conformity, more like it.
Just for the record, I hear guys use this curious pop-up phrase all the time. The America’s Nxt Top M- episode is my first memory of hearing it; I just heard it on How I Met Your Mother, spoken by a male character. As even a few days pass, it’s becomes more common; it’s like a cold in an office or daycare – everyone’s tainted by it eventually.
I dug around – it was supposedly said by Lyndsay Lohan in Mean Girls.
I’m 14 and my friends just told me that I say this. i didn’t really even notice. My friend said it was ‘cool how I said that’ which was weird because I hadn’t realised there was anything different about putting right on the end. It was actually in Mean Girls the film but I’m sure they got it from somewhere else.
To Larz and Scott, I would just say that I think most groups or sub-groups of speakers have little idiomatic tics that signify “inside language.” Hearing these phrases can be very annoying to outsiders who don’t use them in their own speech, but those outsiders undoubtedly have similar tics.
Two that jump into my mind right off the bat (there’s an idiom that might annoy people who don’t use it) are these:
“At the end of the day…”
“In the final analysis…”
I believe the former is a metaphor about which most speakers don’t reflect very much. (I am at the end of my school day as I type this. This is the moment when the phrase resonates with me.)
The latter phrase seems to me to be an overstatement, since it’s usually uttered in the absence of any great in-depth analysis–certainly not after the ultimate analysis of an argument.
“I know, right?” This might be annoying, but it’s impossible for me to call it “wrong.”
Heh, well, I guess I can’t argue with that. Oh, now I’m doing it. I mean, I really could argue if I tried…I give up.
In my office I’m starting to hear the girls say “Yeah, right?” as often as “I know, right?”
Yeah, see? (Or I could even say, “I know, right?”)
It’s very hard to get away from these things–even though they drive us up a wall sometimes!
The first time I heard this phrase was in the movie Juno. The character that used the phrase was a teen girl. She used the phrase to agree with an observation made by the teen’s father. The father said he didn’t feel his daughters dorky friend had the ability to impregnate his daughter. The teen friend responds with, “I know, right?”
It is a phrase usually used when one is agreeing with another’s observation/opinion on a matter. One could say, “I agree” in place of “I know, right?” However, to respond to someone else’s observation with “I agree” may come across as giving one’s opinion when it was not specifically requested. By adding the, “right?” to the end of the sentence, one is agreeing but also deferring to the initial observation.
“I know, right?” tends to be a phrase used in casual conversation. It holds a similar purpose as the use of the word “totally” in surfer speak and the usage of “word” as a statement of agreement in hip hop culture. It is slang, and it’s meant to be used in an informal manner. However, as is often the case with younger generations, the phrase is creeping over into more formal conversations. I think it is more easily co-opted than “totally” or “word” because on the surface it is harder to define it as slang than those other words.
Pardon the intrusion but I just had to comment on this phrase.
I’m in my 30’s and I use it often enough. It is simply a slang phrase that isnt really meant to be taken seriously.
It’s just an agreement of a statement and sometimes a segway to another topic. It’s like a conversation piece really.
I started saying it because I picked it up from a friend who says it contstantly. It just happens.It’s not meant to be over-analyzed, but I suppose some people are just a little more anal than others about these things.
I can think of worse phrases to get on peoples cases about.
Does anyone remember the 80’s and how practically everyone fell victim to the word “Like”?
Almost every other word is Like? It still hasnt really died. People still use it, just not as offensively. Next time you talk to someone, count how many times the word like tumbles from their mouth.
And you REALLY wanna go after people with bad english, larz? Go talk to those people that say things like, “i’ll be over thurr” or “right hurr”. But apparently thats a regional thing.
And larz, your “translation”? Just over-analyzation of something thats just a common conversational phrase that doesnt really “Mean” anything.
Anyway, Dave, Good on you for exploring this phrase and whether or not you’ve embraced it I respect you for approaching this subject.
Peace out, Big Ups, Have a nice one and last but not least…
Later!
Thanks, Karen. I’m surprised that this post has gotten so much response, even now, over three years after I originally posted it.
In the past three years I have continued my job teaching high-school German. I find that one of the hardest things to convey to students is the meaning of “particle words,” words that have no direct lexical translation into English vocabulary, but that are used to “spice up” sentences.
I’m sure there are plenty of educated speakers of German who might object to the over-use of words like “mal,” “doch,” and “halt.” When we see videos of actual German teenagers speaking casually, it is easy to tell which kids overuse linguistic tics similar to “I know, right?”
I cannot see myself ever telling my German-learners that these filler words are wrong, because I am not inside that language community. Instead, I simply try to help my students to understand the function of these words.
Heh, well, it’s been two years since I first found this post, and that phrase still drives me nuts. I say it to my wife in jest occasionally, but she knows I’m mocking everyone else who says it.
It’s definitely something a man should never, ever say. (In my humble opinion.)
Scott Salsman: “It’s definitely something a man should never, ever say. (In my humble opinion.)”
Okay, that’s the right attitude.
But maybe very manly men can get away with it sometimes, or? Certainly hard-bitten baseball managers should never, ever use it, even ones who otherwise butcher the English language. (Interjected the blog-owner, trying to wrestle the discourse around to baseball, his new obsession…)
Don’t worry, I hardly use the phrase, except with a tone of irony when speaking with my students.