I was sitting in the senior awards assembly at Stone Bridge High School this morning, and I got to thinking about people from my past, people who were good friends or mentors or teachers, with whom I’ve lost contact.
I realized that I will be one of those people for some of these kids. For some reason, I began to feel rather guilty at the bad job I’ve done keeping in touch over the years.
I especially remember my boss from the early 1980s, the Dean of Residential and Judicial Affairs at Vanderbilt University, K.C. Potter. He was a great dean and mentor who taught me a lot about teaching and guiding adolescents–several years before I even thought about becoming a teacher.
K.C. was the spirit of Vanderbilt while I was there. He actually lived on campus. He wore bowties in black and gold (Vanderbilt’s colors) and was at every event. He had a law degree from Vanderbilt Law School.
As I was stewing in my guilt today, I realized that I didn’t expect any of those kids at Stone Bridge necessarily to “stay in touch.” I won’t be at all hurt if they don’t. I’ll consider it a great treat in my life if I hear from one of them in five years. Right now I expect them to move on and get started in life.
When I had finished my Ph.D. in German from Vanderbilt and was applying for assistant professor jobs in 1992, I asked Dean Potter to write me a letter of recommendation. It contained one of the most keenly sharpened turns of phrase I have ever encountered:
David Shepherd knows how to pierce a bureaucratic veil and arrive at the desired result.
Even my dissertation advisor, who really wanted me to get letters from respected academics rather than university administrators, was impressed with that sentence.
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What say we keep in touch, Dave? I’d like that.
I enjoyed your blog Dave. I have an analogy for friendships over the course of your life. It’s like raking leaves -as you drag your rake through your yard, different leaves get pulled in and others fall off. The few that remain within the forks of the rake, however, are your lifelong friends. It’s not meant to be profound, but I’ve always found it a convenient way to visualize the phenomena of friendship life cycles.
Dave:
I am a Word Nerds fan and an undergraduate at Vanderbilt - so I feel compelled simply to say hello. I enjoy your podcast immensely and really enjoy the reflections you offer in your blog as well. From one Commodore to another, greetings and all the best.
Happy trails -
Stuart
I was bored this morning and did a Vanderbilt search on eblogger and came upon this article. I was an RA at Vandy 95-97 and KC copied me on lots of disciplinary letters to some of my residents. I really remember his letter to our infamous streaker. It was something like “I trust that in the future you will reveal that you are capable of leaving a more positive mark on the Vanderbilt campus.” KC retired the next year. Loved him!
Forgotten about this blog, Dave?
Dave,
Thanks for your post of June 6 in which you mention KC Potter. I wonder if you also had contact with Sid Boutwell, who was dean of men for several years. He may have slipped out the door just as you were arriving. I’m very curious to know what happened to him since I never read anything about his departure in alumni mailings. Thanks!
Hi Mark. I know the name Sid Boutwell, but I never knew him. KC, of course, knew him well, and I think he was KC’s mentor, as a matter of fact.
Renie, I can imagine the close of that letter to the streaker:
“Please accept my very best wishes.”
KC always wrote that, no matter how harsh or deprecating the rest of the letter was.
Hi Dave,
Great to find your blog. I remember KC quite well. I think he had a positive impact on a lot of students fortunate to know him. Those were good days and glad to see some of the old gang -Brock and Mark are still there.